Friday, May 15, 2009
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
Friday, May 01, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
THOSE WHO ARE UGLY LOOKING TAKE UP JOURNALISM and others like you, Kareena, Aishwarya or others become role model. The end product for masses in this country is PURE FILTH and morally bankruptsocieties. Media is irresponsible but people like you also use it your advantage and jump in front of camera at the first available opportunity.
The damage done by Bombay mirror is NOTHING when compared to DAMAGE DONE TO morallity of Indians BY PEOPLE IN YOUR FRATERNITY."
No one reads my blog. Let me give you the count of people who read it- My senior who is besotted with me (in an asexual manner) [Senior] friend who I am almost married to [Shakira] but then again that is another post, [Anubhab] (who has given up posting in his blog because I caused so much agony through my key board- no pun intended seriously!) He has only been reduced to leaving the sole comments on my blog; a few scholarly people who I used to know as a kid and their partners, (that too is for vested interest so that I read their’s. I lost my bachelor readers since I gave up posting on dating!
Anyway so what does a failed blogger do? Just what a failed Actor does- starts critiquing others’ acting. So shall I- “review” celebrity blogs! Thanks to Shakira for the idea!
So to begin with Mr. Bachchan’s blog.
He started by vomiting about which team won which match in IPL and in what fashion- last hope to make people at least read about it through the glorious man- himself! I wonder how much Delhi Daredevils, Mumbai Indians and the Rajasthan Royals had to pay him for “endorsing” about their teams in BigB@Bigadda- has anyone else noticed the Reid and Taylor add on the left hand corner of his picture on the purported Blog? I hope Mr. Harivansh Rai Bachchan wasn’t charged to be quoted on the blog in the description. Ok going on to more pressing issues addressed on his blog- he states how he has missed home food when he was not in “comfortable environment” i.e., home. Guess why the food that Mrs. Bachchan (Senior) gives him is the “best food in the world”? Well it’s a very original and never stated reason, you will marvel at it- wait for it, well it’s the fact that he had not had it in a long while!!! Now how ingenious is that? Tell me? Did you ever think that home food would taste yummy because you haven’t had it in a long while? I wonder how he comes up with life moving statements man! My whole perspective on home food has changed now! *tears rolling down my cheek due to realization, joy and sorrow mixed at the same time*. Then, he also talks about his Apple MacBook Pro (I can feel the model get costlier by this statement- poor [Anubhab], will have to settle his dreams on a new brand of laptop now). The importance of the model in Mr. Bachchan's life is reflected here when he points out how the laptop changed his life in the following statement, [Link]
“GOODNESS !! Its the 29th of April in the morning and the time on right hand corner of the MacBookPro says Wed 1:22 PM.”
This is followed by how if not for the Apple MacBook Pro he would have been established a “cerebral mess” which is of course left to the comprehensive discretion of the reader. (on this point he rambles a bit to prove his point on the cerebral mess argument) This I will suggest with a skill of a niche reviewer (sic) that is OK because the “mass” is not targeted by this model in any case or is it?
From here we move straight to the part were he laments about his misfortune because he is given special attention by the airport staff and “forced to break queues” and how his Lucknowi-roots just hold him back to do so. He does mention his embarrassment at being given special attention- so why doesn’t he hold his ground and say “No”? Maybe he should be given a high-school lecture on “How to say NO”. How is that for a perspective. He has the time to sit and lament about it on the internet, why doesn’t he just save that time (his and others’ in the queue) by not breaking the rule. Apparently he just saves time because “much to his dismay” someone or the other before him recognizes him and “volunteers” him forward- and much to his embarrassment it seems! It must be so embarrassing no, to be besotted with so much adulation isn’t it- but I have a solution, why doesn’t he just follow the rule, I’m sure he doesn’t get embarrassed to “quote his price” to the people hiring him! Anyway, he doesn’t forget to names drop about how he was even recognized in “Heathrow airport in London”. Wow no?? I mean come on he was even spotted and recognized in Heathrow airport- it’s like Me stating you know someone recognized me as a brown skinned- even though he was colour blind- achievement indeed. Then Mr. Bachchan also (not so) subtly points out the morons who don’t recognize him and express disgust at the (un)due favour granted to him at airport terminals and states that he whisks past them so that he doesn’t have to catch the “occasional” disgust at his aura surrounded presence. How different am I from him I wonder, when I stealthily move myself up the line and whisk past quickly so that no one notices or expresses disgust- I guess I have a great person in the making in me! :D He also mentions how the mobile photography disturbs him right when he is working on his shoes or getting his dismantled objects back from the scanner- my dear Mr. Bachchan, ask women about mobile photography and the irritation about the same, let’s see- whether a lecherous bastard taking the pictures of my leg is more disturbing or when I am trying to tie my hair and the bastard with the hunkie junkie fat phone and pot belly (both equally ordained with jewellery) g(r)azes at my tee shirt and makes me feel violated- I think definitely Mr. Bachchan’s case is more serious. He adds as a foot note almost that he did in fact work for such attention but guises it in a manner only in time to make my mobile photography objections sound much trivial than his violation of privacy.
Last but not the least he sums up saying his wife and kids (sic) are calling him for lunch and if he delays going there for any more seconds he will not get any food. I completely understand, it’s just like the daily wage labourer who is denied his wage if he is ill and doesn’t manage to reach his work place on time right? How similar a life Mr. Bachcan leads- like any ordinary man isn’t it!
~ Phenomenally Yours.